Grandparents

Are you a grandparent yet?  Have you only just become a parent so give you some time?  Are you a parent who is so exhausted and stressed that you cannot believe you will live long enough to ever be a grandparent? Well, if you are already a grandparent, I cannot tell you anything because you already know how wonderful it is.....at least most of the time.  If you are not yet, the best will just get better.

Grandparenting was always more of an age category than an experience to be anticipated when I was younger.  To think of myself as being called a grandmother was just not reality to me.  I had but one child and she waited until after 30 for children so most of my life "grandmother" was not a considered definition for me. I just didn't believe that I could fill the shoes of my grandmothers....not that I would ever wear the shoes my grandmothers wore.

 First of all, my grandmothers were the old-fashioned stereotype grandmothers.  They were not very tall, had hugely developed mammary glands, carried at least 50 pounds of extra weight and cooked so well and so often that the weight was understandable.  They also dressed rather grandmotherly.  They wore those Dexter-type shoes that tied, never wore jeans or pants of any type and you could smell them about 10 minutes before they arrived.  It wasn't a bad smell, but just a strong essence.  One grandmother would put sugar in her mashed potatoes and the other grandmother would let us eat peaches until our teeth hurt.  She would make the world's best cobblers from whatever peaches remained.  I loved my grandmothers dearly.
They spoiled us in every way possible, but there were unquestionable rules of behavior.  We must do the Captain Kangaroo please and thank you without reminders, we used "inside" voices inside anything including park pavilions, beach umbrellas, stadiums (most of the time) or outdoor concert shelters.  They did not participate in corporal punishment child control, but they could make your legs fold with their eyes.  All and all I had only pleasant experiences of grandparents, but I was in no hurry to actually be one.

Remember, for me, it was an age category.

My sister became a grandmother first and warmed to it like a kitten to a dish of milk.  She is a natural.  It is difficult for her as a grandmother because her 4(four) grandchildren live about 5 states away from her.  She makes geography less of an obstacle by constant use of the cell phone and texting.  Fed-EX and UPS must have declared a dividend when she began her constant present shipping.  She lives in Las Vegas where you can find anything so her shopping list is always rather long.  She is a great role model as a grandmother and I planned to follow her lead......but there was no hurry.

My kids (daughter and son-in-law) had substitute grandkids for me to spoil in the form of 3 little dogs.  They are bichon frissee which roughly translated are white, curly haired, little animals with tongues.  They show affection by licking with special target being the face.  They are well-trained and will respond to my requests without too much complaint or delay.  In general, they are delightful and I have watched them grow up with pleasure.  These were my grandchildren. There was no hurry for others.

You know what is coming, don't you?  Well, almost.  I have two grandsons, but, as his dad says, one is a lot quieter than the other.  The only way to live with the physical loss of a grandson has been to accept that there is a reason for everything that happens in our lives.  I would really appreciate being privy to the bigger picture.  I have needed to know reasons.  Pain becomes almost unbearable when in the eyes of your child.

My grandson was born 3 years and has been in perpetual motion most of that time.  He had been pretty comfortable before birth and the outside world was a bit of an aggravation to him for a few months.  His parents became aware of terms such as sleep deprivation and stress in an entirely new context.  The entire world could be held in one receiving blanket.  His early difficulties are far behind us and the present child is more than could have been imagined.  OK, here goes the grandmother, but I speak only truth.  He IS the smartest and most beautiful baby boy in this or any world.  He counts almost to 20, knows his alphabet, can sing many little songs and plays air guitar.  His energy level is so high he could power jets and his inquisitive mind makes everyone stay alert and, hopefully, prepared.   He is SO beautiful.  His lashes shade his cheeks and his smile makes the worst day a delight.  We are so very grateful for him.

Is grandmothering still an age thing?  Probably, but who cares.
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My son-in-law calls grandparents " big old wrinkled bags of love."  Guess you need to know my son-in-law, but that is intended to be an expression of great love.  He was very close to his grandparents and still has his grandmothers for whom he has great love and appreciation.  My daughter has grandfathers who think she is almost perfect as well as her husband's grandmothers who have always been very loving and accepting of her. 

Guess I am one of those bags now.  Well, I choose to emphasize the love part and overlook the big, old, wrinkled and bag parts.  I have things todo to get ready for my grandson's next visit.